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	<title>Keys To Happy Marriage</title>
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		<title>Open Marriage</title>
		<link>http://www.keystohappymarriage.com/marriage-problems/open-marriage/</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 25 Jan 2010 11:36:48 +0000</pubDate>
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				<category><![CDATA[Marriage Problems]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[Take the time to read the following article, surely you will benefit from the research that been conducted in order for it to be written.  
An open marriage is one of the best relationships that you can hope for. By having a relationship where there is trust between both partners, it is much easier to [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Take the time to read the following article, surely you will benefit from the research that been conducted in order for it to be written.  </p>
<p>An open marriage is one of the best relationships that you can hope for. By having a relationship where there is trust between both partners, it is much easier to face problems. Inherent honesty within a relationship allows for each person to know that their spouse will do as he or she promised, which is vital for a lasting union. Click Here  </p>
<p>However, obtaining an open marriage is not easy. It requires that you do not lie to your partner or try to hide things from him or her. This can be extremely difficult, as telling the truth is more often difficult than easy. While ideal, it takes two people to have an open marriage. One person doing all of the work and being honest all of the time will not help a marriage. In many cases, it will breed resentment in the person who is trying, and a sense of superiority for the other partner. Because of this, deciding on an open marriage is something that has to be a joint decision.  </p>
<p>While it is very difficult to develop an open marriage, it is equally difficult to maintain it. Trust is something that is hard to earn and easy to destroy. An affair, for example, runs a very high chance of permanently destroying any chances of maintaining an open marriage. Lying on small matters can also tear apart the foundation of one of these marriages. In order for an open marriage to work, both partners must live a lifestyle of honesty and loyalty. If these are not traits that both partners share, an open relationship is virtually impossible.  </p>
<p>Before you enter into an open marriage, you should consider counseling. A counselor will be able to sit down with both of you and discuss the benefits and disadvantages to an open marriage, as well as teach you skills that you will need to make it succeed. While it takes a lot more work to make it happen, an open marriage offers many personal and financial awards.  </p>
<p>A common trait of an open marriage is the sharing of bank accounts. Regardless of if one or both individuals are making funds, open relationships tend to have a mutual bank account they share money from. This lets them pool their finances and budget accordingly. This is one of the greatest benefits to an open marriage, as the sharing of accounts and finances makes it much easier for a couple to survive in struggling economies. Click Here  </p>
<p>If you want an open marriage, speak to your partner. Working together is the only way that you can make it happen.  </p>
<p>Thanks for reading this article. Check this site again soon for a look at more of our articles. </p>
<div style="margin:5px;padding:5px;border:1px solid #c1c1c1;font-size: 10px">An open marriage is one of the best relationships that you can hope for.Please Visit <a href="http://www.marriageviews.info/Open-Marriage.php" rel="nofollow">http://www.marriageviews.info/Open-Marriage.php</a> <br /><a href="http://www.backbonecommunications.com/character-education/">character education</a></div>
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		<title>FAILED MARRIAGES, ONE DIVORCE TOO MANY: By Chris Okafor</title>
		<link>http://www.keystohappymarriage.com/marriage-problems/failed-marriages-one-divorce-too-many-by-chris-okafor/</link>
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		<pubDate>Sun, 24 Jan 2010 12:10:35 +0000</pubDate>
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				<category><![CDATA[Marriage Problems]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[FAILED MARRIAGES: ONE DIVORCE, TOO MANY. BY CHRIS OKAFOR 
Marriage is an act of joining a man and a woman together in a holy matrimony as husband and a wife. It often calls for fun fares, weddings, celebrations and conviviality. 
People spend a lot of money in planning for these big occasions and sometimes end [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>FAILED MARRIAGES: ONE DIVORCE, TOO MANY. BY CHRIS OKAFOR </p>
<p>Marriage is an act of joining a man and a woman together in a holy matrimony as husband and a wife. It often calls for fun fares, weddings, celebrations and conviviality. </p>
<p>People spend a lot of money in planning for these big occasions and sometimes end it up cruising around the world on honeymoon. The couples had, without doubt, in church and in present of a Reverend Father, vowed to be faithful and to love one another until death do them apart. To most people who had partaken in this vow, it must be upheld with respect and dignity at all times. They sees marriage as a sacrament while to many, there is absolutely nothing wrong with saying &#8220;I do&#8221; today and within the next 4 months, it is all over. </p>
<p>This school of thoughts viewed the entire institution of marriage as &#8220;free-entry-free exit&#8221; kind of a contact. It doesn’t matter if their well publicised and celebrated marriage would come to a halt within months of its inception. </p>
<p>On the other hand, divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of marriage or marital vow before the death of either spouse. It can be contrasted with annulment, which is a declaration that marriage is void, though the effect maybe recognised in such unions such as spousal supports, child custody and distribution of property. </p>
<p>The problem of failed marriages and divorce around the world particularly Europe and America is so enormous and inexplicable especially when there is no basis to determine necessary or sufficient causation. It is, indeed, a social problem with a hereditary attachment of which many are completely ignorant of and never believe in existence of the following concept which I am going to outline here. When one decides to put an end to his/her marriage on a mere provocation and on issues that ought to be resolved amicably, you have no moral justification to tell your children in future that there is anything wrong with divorce or having children with different parents.In Nigeria, for instance, there are some ethnic groups that advise their male children never to marry from a single parent or a broken home. The ironic reasons are palpable. They believed that marriage is all about tolerance and the woman being submissive to their chosen husband at all time and therefore no amount of disagreement between couples that would warrant a woman to abscond from home. In most cases, men reserve the exclusive right to send their wives out of their matrimonial home on the ground of infidelity and promiscuity. </p>
<p>Women are normally the victim and in contrast, because of male dominance, cultural and religious affiliations, it is customary for people in most African countries to come back home from their respective daily activities and announce to their wives that they are marrying the second or the third wife as the case may be without questioning. They have the sole right as well to have as many girlfriend(s) as it pleases them or go out and come back at will.In fact, it is not only a taboo but it is also an abomination for average African woman to go out like their European or American counterparts, get drunk and have a one night stand that often lead to pregnancies. Such women would possibly be disgraced before their children and sent packing from home without compassion of any kind. </p>
<p>This is liken to &#8221; if you cannot stand the heat get out of the kitchen&#8221; kind of marriage which have been viewed in some quarters as some kind of slavery. The truth of the matter is that some of these women knew what it meant to them for their children to be jointly raised and as such, they choose to stand the heat rather than getting out of the kitchen. The respect to their chosen husbands, no matter what he does or did is total and it is fundamentally important that they do not bring shame to their respective family no matter how wretched, poor or rich that family may be. </p>
<p>Recent research has shown that the evolution of marriage has taken place despite an increased life expectancy that has theoretically made a longer and healthier life together as a couple possible. Although in the past, the death of one of the two spouses was the typical end of marriage, divorce is now the most frequently observed cause.In Switzerland, for example, the number of newly divorced residents actually exceeded the number of newly widowed residents in 1988 (OFS, 1990). </p>
<p>This is a relatively recent phenomenon, having existing for less than half a century and even less in some countries where it was forbidden or severely restricted until very recently (The mid 1970s in Portugal and Italy, 1981 in Spain, and not until 1997 in Ireland). Divorce is not only a legal instrument freeing a couple from wedlock, but an act that is at the heart of familial and social processes.To understand the rise in the number of divorces in various countries, one must first understand the reasons causing couples to marry. France, Italy, Sweden, and Switzerland are representative of the diversity of marital and familial situations existing in Europe.What we see sometimes in American reality television is an eye saw. An unacceptable situation where one is married and within 3 months, the man is sleeping with his wife mother. There is no basis of comparison between African marriages and other people around the world because what they see as a way of life is completely forbidden in Africa. Again, most people see this as being totally primitive. </p>
<p>It is difficult for average women in Europe generally to stick to their marriage when they eventually realized that their husbands are cheating on them. That would invariably be the last straw and would be used as an affront to divorce in which they would be beneficiary to their husband’s stupendous wealth and without recourse to how such separation would affect their children.The ratio is 1 out of every hundred and we have seen this ratio at work sometime ago when a footballer wife defiantly resisted their former assistant shameless confession in order to thwart her marriage. She chooses to stand firmly by her husband throughout the trying period. In United States, during Bill Clinton era, a similar newspaper unconfirmed report between Bill and a Monica Lewinski almost ruin the marriage between the then president and his wife. Again, the latter choose to remain with the husband rather than divorce. </p>
<p>This is just one in a million and like a reoccurring decimal, one hardly turns the pages of newspapers these days without reading about ones divorce or the other. There are countless number of lawyers placing adverts on newspapers and magazines for cheap divorce rates.Today, one of the primary reasons why most celebrities cannot marry is that they are not ready to let what they have laboured all their entire life to be given to a nitwit in the name of divorce settlement .It is quite obvious that people go into marriage for number of reasons while some people, most especially women, go into marriage for the financial gains not really because they needed a family. </p>
<p>According to Jenny Burley and Francis Regan, the Irish story of family law reform in the post-second world war era is quite different from the experience of other countries. One of the main reasons why the story is different is that from 1937 divorce was banned under the Irish constitution. Divorce law reform therefore required a referendum to change the constitution. Even though there were thousand of separated people in Ireland in early 1980s, the proposal to introduce divorce was vociferously opposed in referenda in 1986 and 1995. </p>
<p>The opposition to constitutional change was fuelled by anti-divorce campaigns which used fear tactics, related to money, children, property and inheritance to argue that divorce would tear apart the very fabric of Irish society. The campaign also claimed that divorce would open floodgates to marriage breakdown. The availability of this divorce in Ireland since 1997 has not, however, borne out of dire predictions of the anti-divorce campaigners.Successful and failed marriages have its origin and background from family circles and some people has argued that it would take a divine intervention for the products of broken homes to triumph where their parents have failed. This is simple. Children learn a great deal from the good and the bad we do at home. </p>
<p>What are responsible for most ignominious exit in most marriages particularly from most women are sheer greed, drink and drugs, insatiable lust and lack of tolerance, which unavoidably, is contributing immensely to the drastic decadence in family and societal values.The devastating effects of divorce on children and families are enormous. Research made by Dr.Todd.E Linaman on families noted the following:Future effects of divorce• Children deal with the effects of divorce not only as children, but into adulthood. The effects of divorce will impact the next generation of children as well. • The child&#8217;s suffering from the effects of divorce does not reach its peak at the time of the divorce and then level off. Rather, the emotional effects of divorce can be played and replayed throughout a child&#8217;s life. Academic effects of divorce• Children from divorced families drop out of school at twice the rate of children from intact families, and they have lower rates of graduation from high school and college. • Children from divorced homes performed more poorly in reading, spelling, and math and repeated a grade more frequently than did children not facing the effects of divorce. Social effects of divorce• Children of divorced parents are significantly more likely to become delinquent by age 15, regardless of when the divorce took place, than are children not dealing with the effects of divorce. • The single best predictor of teen suicide is parental divorce and living in a single-parent household. • Comparing all family structures, drug use in children is lowest among children not facing the effects of divorce. Emotional effects of divorce• Divorce has been found to be associated with a higher incidence of depression; withdrawal from friends and family; aggressive, impulsive, or hyperactive behavior; and either withdrawing from participation in the classroom or becoming disruptive. • Adult children of divorced parents experience mental health problems significantly more often than do the adult children who didn&#8217;t witness the effects of divorce as children. Relational effects of divorce• After divorce, children tend to become more emotionally distant from both parents. • As adults, children of divorced parents are half as likely to be close to their parents as are children not dealing with the effects of divorce. • In their own marriages, children of divorced parents are more likely to be unhappy, to escalate conflicts, and to reduce communication with their spouses. • Some studies concerning the probability of divorce for children of divorced parents have found the risk to be more than twice the risk for children who haven&#8217;t personally experienced the effects of divorce.This is just one of the numerous factors affecting divorce on families and the list is endless. One thing about people that I have met in my life is that they do not realize the impact of the mistake they must have made in terms of making a decision that would ultimately shape their life until such mistake begin to hit them. It is, however important amidst these factors that we should think very carefully before considering divorce.Chris OkaforGalway Ireland: chrisokafor@myself.com </p>
<div style="margin:5px;padding:5px;border:1px solid #c1c1c1;font-size: 10px">Chris Obiajulu Okafor was born in Ogwashi-Uku in Delta state of Nigeria few months before the outbreak of the protracted Nigeria civil war. He had both his primary and post primary education in Ogwashi- Uku and later studied Mass Communication in the University Of Lagos.He came to Ireland in 2002 where he is presently living with his wife and 3 children. Chris is a journalist and a creative writer that has participated in many comtemporary issues both here and in Nigeria.<br /><a href="http://lunaticstudios.com/software/">Free WP Autoposter Plugins</a></div>
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		<title>Marriage Records</title>
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		<pubDate>Sat, 23 Jan 2010 15:18:34 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[I am glad you have found this page. This article will hopefully detail what you have been looking for.   
Marriage records are documentation held by the authorities or local authorities, churches and other establishments that prove that a pair has been legally wed. These records are used for several purposes. First and foremost, it is [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I am glad you have found this page. This article will hopefully detail what you have been looking for.   </p>
<p>Marriage records are documentation held by the authorities or local authorities, churches and other establishments that prove that a pair has been legally wed. These records are used for several purposes. First and foremost, it is used by the government to determine who is eligible for modern benefits such as tax deductions and health insurance. This document can also be used as a proof of identity in some regions. However, these records are also maintained for a long period of time, and can be used for tracking lineage and your family&#8217;s genealogy. Click Here  </p>
<p>Marriage records can be obtained from your local government for a fee. Usually, the acquisition of marriage records is limited to blood relatives of those inquiring. However, in the case of genealogy and research, many libraries will be given copies of the records after a certain period of time has passed. Usually, it is not until after the death of both parties, as these records can be used for identity fraud.  </p>
<p>Due to the sensitivity of marriage records, it is crucial that you keep a copy of your record someplace safe. This is especially true if you live somewhere other than where you were born or wed. In situations like this, you may be called on at anytime by your local government to provide proof of marriage. This is especially common when you first move.  </p>
<p>A standard marriage record includes info on the man and the woman to be wed. At a minimum, this information will include the location of both the man and the woman, if they have any dealings prior to marriage, and their names. The older the wedding record, the less likely there will be information such as age included. The older the records are, the more simplistic they tend to be. Click Here  </p>
<p>If you are seeking to request a replacement marriage record, you may have to wait several months for your order to be processed, dependent on the age of the record and where you are ordering it from. The older the record, the longer it will take for the record to be taken from archive and a copy created and sent to you. However, if you recently filed for marriage, you may also run into the same issue of delays, as it takes a set amount of time for a marriage record to be processed into the archives. If you are recently wed, it is suggested that you keep careful track of your marriage license, as there will be delays in acquiring other copies unless they were planned for at the time of marriage.  </p>
<p>Thanks for reviewing this article, I hope you found the information useful and to of great use </p>
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		<title>Marriage is Like a Car Cruising in the Highway â?? Part 1</title>
		<link>http://www.keystohappymarriage.com/marriage-problems/marriage-is-like-a-car-cruising-in-the-highway-a%c2%80%c2%93-part-1-2/</link>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 20 Jan 2010 16:53:25 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[I would like to liken marriage to a car cruising on a highway or freeway. This analogy helps to understand marriage, but it is not intended to answer all questions or explain every aspect of marriage. The freeway or highway has several dynamics, and we will use those dynamics to explain marriage.
1. A car is [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I would like to liken marriage to a car cruising on a highway or freeway. This analogy helps to understand marriage, but it is not intended to answer all questions or explain every aspect of marriage. The freeway or highway has several dynamics, and we will use those dynamics to explain marriage.</p>
<p>1. A car is designed by someone else.  Marriage was designed by God in the beginning of creation, and was handed down to Adam and Eve according to Mosesâ?? account of creation in Genesis 2. Marriage is not human-made.</p>
<p>2. A car comes with an operational manual. Unfortunately, marriage does not come with a user manual. The escalation of divorce, separation, all forms of abuse, and unhappiness in marriage occur because there is no operator or userâ??s manual. I would like to suggest that the Bible is well positioned to serve as the operatorâ??s or userâ??s manual for marriage. The Bible deals and promotes positive and good human relations, such as, love, peace, joy, longsuffering, kindness, forgiving spirit, temperance, and etc. In general, and those are necessary and critical qualities to keep marriage healthy.</p>
<p>3. A U-turn is prohibited in the highway.  Marriage was intended to be a one way, and a way of no return. One cannot enter marriage when they have not dealt with the question of permanency. The Bible teaches that God hates divorce (Mal. 2:16), and divorce was allowed because of hardness of peopleâ??s hearts (Matt. 19:7-8).</p>
<p>4. You cannot stop or park in the highway. Marriage should be growing from better to best. Like a plant, when marriage stops growing, it weathers and dies. If you stop, you disturb and distract those who are moving.</p>
<p>5. Keep the speed limit. Donâ??t drive too slowly to disturb the flow, or too fast to cause accidents. Grow your marriage in a normal way. Donâ??t take time to adjust or bond, and at the same time donâ??t swallow an elephant, but bite a piece at a time.</p>
<p>6.	Cars in the highway must be licensed. There are times when people drive unlicensed cars in the highway. Marriage should be legitimate and regarded or treated as holy.  Children should be born in a Bible-approved legitimate marriage.</p>
<p>7. Cars must be roadworthy.  Marriage that is not â??roadworthyâ? should be properly repaired and regularly serviced. When marriage is not attended to, it becomes a stressor to spouses, children, and others.</p>
<p>8. Different cars in the highway. Some cars a better and nicer than yours. You need to be satisfied with your car, and not envy your neighbourâ??s car.  Some cars look nicer from a distance, but not quite the as you own and drive it. When you chose your spouse, you made the best decision ever (or did you?).  You need to be satisfied with your spouse or marriage. Other marriages might appear nicer and desirable from a distance, when they are actually a hell on earth.</p>
<p>9.	Follow and observe the freeway/highway rules and signs.  Pay attention to areas that might create a disharmony in your marriage journey. Slow down to take curves smoothly. When there is misunderstanding, slow down to address it. Curves are for learning and growth. Donâ??t be harsh and unkind when taking a marriage curve â?? you can lose control and roll your marriage.</p>
<p>10. Keep to your lane. Donâ??t change lanes without indicating.  Give indications if you are going to make changes in your marriages, particularly changes that also affect others. Inform your spouse, children, and others if your are planning to bring about changes so that they are cautious and alert to your moves.</p>
<p>11. Passengers must feel comfortable in your car. They need to feel free to take their naps without feeling that their lives are in danger because you are behind the wheel. Create a safe and peaceful environment for those who are in marriage with you. Use your power to support rather than to sabotage.</p>
<p>12. Carry necessary tools and supplies for the road.  It is illegal in some countries to drive a car without a spare wheel or to run out of gas. Plan ahead and anticipate challenges on the road. Every marriage should have a toolkit for repairs. There are times when a tyre suffers a puncture. Be ready to stop, turn on your warning lights, and replace the tyre.  Challenges and conflicts are normal in marriage. One needs to be armed with necessary tools to address conflicts and challenges so that we can resume our marriage journey.</p>
<p>13. Use all car mirrors in order to be alert at all times. You need to be able to see cars from all angles â?? rear and sides. Donâ??t drive with your eyes on the rear or side mirrors because you might drive into a car in front of you if it suddenly stops.  Concentrate on your car, but vigilant that other marriages do not affect or disturb yours. </p>
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		<title>Six Obstacles To Consent That Need To Be Overcome For A Successful Marriage</title>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 19 Jan 2010 16:58:53 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[Marriage is the most important act in the life of the majority of men and women. When it is a good marriage, it brings men and women to the fullness of the life God intended for them.
The difference is this: in the first case, the existence of any contract is denied; in the second case, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Marriage is the most important act in the life of the majority of men and women. When it is a good marriage, it brings men and women to the fullness of the life God intended for them.<br />
The difference is this: in the first case, the existence of any contract is denied; in the second case, the existence of a contract is admitted, and the contract is made, even though at the very moment of making the contract one has every intention of violating it.<br />
Is it only a pleasant companionship which may not survive the trials and tribulations of family life? No one can hope to realize the full fruits of a good marriage without first understanding what marriage is.<br />
Many erroneous notions regarding marriage are still being circulated these days, particularly in reference to its permanence and its obligations. The reason for these errors is the failure to recognize the sacredness of marriage. Marriage is not, as some seem to think, a legalizing of sexual relationships between a man and a woman. It is, instead, a relationship established by God Himself primarily for the generation and education of children. The very name &#8220;Matrimony&#8221; signifies this: it comes from two Latin words. matris munus. meaning &#8220;the office of motherhood&#8221; or &#8220;the duty of the mother,&#8221; which duty is the generation and education of new life.<br />
What Is Marriage?<br />
Marriage is an institution as old as the human race itself. It started in the Garden of Eden with our first parents. God blessed Adam and Eve: &#8220;Increase and multiply and fill the earth&#8221; (Gen. 1:28); and God&#8217;s fundamental laws with regard to marriage are well expressed by Adam: &#8220;Wherefore, a man shall leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be two in one flesh&#8221; (Gen. 2:24).<br />
Thus, marriage can be defined as a lifelong union between a man and a woman who are lawfully capable of giving irrevocably to each other the right to acts necessary for the generation and education of children, mutually obliging themselves to a common way of life in order to work out their eternal salvation. Among the baptized, every true marriage is, in itself and by itself, a sacrament instituted by Christ to produce grace.<br />
The most essential factor in marriage, of course, is the contract. A contract is an agreement between two parties, each assenting to give something to the other or to do something for the other for a definite length of time. There cannot be a contract without the free consent of both parties.<br />
There are six obstacles to consent.<br />
1. Lack of the use of reason, infants, the seriously mentally ill, the intoxicated, the drugged, the hypnotized cannot give true consent.<br />
2. Defective knowledge. In order to give consent, the person must<br />
know the essentials &#8211; that marriage is a permanent union of a man and a woman for the purpose of procreating children. He must know that this requires bodily cooperation of husband and wife. After puberty, it is presumed that the person knows these basic facts. It is not necessary that he know all the biological mechanisms involved in the sex act, conception, pregnancy, and birth.<br />
3. Mistaken identity. If you &#8220;marry&#8221; one person but thought that<br />
you were marrying another (his twin, for example) there is no true consent.<br />
4. Pretense. People who say &#8220;I will&#8221; while acting out a marriage on the stage or in a movie are, of course, not married. There is no intention of getting married and, hence, no true consent.<br />
But if a person is a bride or groom in a real wedding ceremony, his external consent by saying &#8220;I will&#8221; is taken as evidence of true internal consent. He would have great difficulty trying to prove later that he said &#8220;I will&#8221; but did not really mean it.<br />
5. Force or fear. Canon Law is specific on this matter, saying that &#8220;invalid is a marriage entered into through force or grave fear unjustly inspired from without, such that in order to escape from it, a party is compelled to choose marriage. No other fear, even if it furnish the cause for the contract, entails the nullity of marriage&#8221; (Canon 1087).<br />
If you are forced into a marriage by a force that cannot be resisted, you have not given true consent. There is no marriage in such a case.<br />
What about fear? Notice the conditions. It must be grave or serious fear. It must come from without, that is, from some other person. It must be unjust. Finally, it must be fear of such a nature that the only way to escape it is to marry. If fear fulfills all these conditions, it results in forced consent and there is no marriage.<br />
6. Intention contrary to the essence of marriage. If one or both parties would deny that marriage really is a contract binding on both parties, or that marriage gives the right to sexual intercourse, the marriage would be invalid, because denial would indicate a failure to understand what marriage really is. You certainly are not making a contract when you do not believe there is a contract.<br />
And you are not making a contract involving sexual intercourse as one of the things promised if you do not believe that sexual intercourse is one of the things promised. But, as we have defined, marriage is a contract involving promise of sexual intercourse.<br />
However, if one or both have the intention of not having children, or of refusing sexual intercourse,. or of not fulfilling other duties, the marriage is valid. It is considered that they freely accept and consent to the married state but are not willing to fulfill its duties.<br />
When it fails, it leaves behind a trail of faded hopes and dreams and broken lives. For those who are planning marriage, therefore, it is vitally important that they know what marriage really is. Certainly no one can find the secret of successful marriage without first having a clear understanding of what marriage is.<br />
Is it merely a civil contract, entered into by a man and woman mainly for companionship and social and material security? Is it the result of a purely physical attraction, thoughtlessly embarked upon in the full bloom of youthful ardor? </p>
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		<title>Marriage is Like a Car Cruising in the Highway â?? Part 1</title>
		<link>http://www.keystohappymarriage.com/marriage-problems/marriage-is-like-a-car-cruising-in-the-highway-a%c2%80%c2%93-part-1/</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 18 Jan 2010 12:45:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Marriage Problems]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Happiness]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[I would like to liken marriage to a car cruising on a highway or freeway. This analogy helps to understand marriage, but it is not intended to answer all questions or explain every aspect of marriage. The freeway or highway has several dynamics, and we will use those dynamics to explain marriage.
1. A car is [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I would like to liken marriage to a car cruising on a highway or freeway. This analogy helps to understand marriage, but it is not intended to answer all questions or explain every aspect of marriage. The freeway or highway has several dynamics, and we will use those dynamics to explain marriage.</p>
<p>1. A car is designed by someone else.  Marriage was designed by God in the beginning of creation, and was handed down to Adam and Eve according to Mosesâ?? account of creation in Genesis 2. Marriage is not human-made.</p>
<p>2. A car comes with an operational manual. Unfortunately, marriage does not come with a user manual. The escalation of divorce, separation, all forms of abuse, and unhappiness in marriage occur because there is no operator or userâ??s manual. I would like to suggest that the Bible is well positioned to serve as the operatorâ??s or userâ??s manual for marriage. The Bible deals and promotes positive and good human relations, such as, love, peace, joy, longsuffering, kindness, forgiving spirit, temperance, and etc. In general, and those are necessary and critical qualities to keep marriage healthy.</p>
<p>3. A U-turn is prohibited in the highway.  Marriage was intended to be a one way, and a way of no return. One cannot enter marriage when they have not dealt with the question of permanency. The Bible teaches that God hates divorce (Mal. 2:16), and divorce was allowed because of hardness of peopleâ??s hearts (Matt. 19:7-8).</p>
<p>4. You cannot stop or park in the highway. Marriage should be growing from better to best. Like a plant, when marriage stops growing, it weathers and dies. If you stop, you disturb and distract those who are moving.</p>
<p>5. Keep the speed limit. Donâ??t drive too slowly to disturb the flow, or too fast to cause accidents. Grow your marriage in a normal way. Donâ??t take time to adjust or bond, and at the same time donâ??t swallow an elephant, but bite a piece at a time.</p>
<p>6.	Cars in the highway must be licensed. There are times when people drive unlicensed cars in the highway. Marriage should be legitimate and regarded or treated as holy.  Children should be born in a Bible-approved legitimate marriage.</p>
<p>7. Cars must be roadworthy.  Marriage that is not â??roadworthyâ? should be properly repaired and regularly serviced. When marriage is not attended to, it becomes a stressor to spouses, children, and others.</p>
<p>8. Different cars in the highway. Some cars a better and nicer than yours. You need to be satisfied with your car, and not envy your neighbourâ??s car.  Some cars look nicer from a distance, but not quite the as you own and drive it. When you chose your spouse, you made the best decision ever (or did you?).  You need to be satisfied with your spouse or marriage. Other marriages might appear nicer and desirable from a distance, when they are actually a hell on earth.</p>
<p>9.	Follow and observe the freeway/highway rules and signs.  Pay attention to areas that might create a disharmony in your marriage journey. Slow down to take curves smoothly. When there is misunderstanding, slow down to address it. Curves are for learning and growth. Donâ??t be harsh and unkind when taking a marriage curve â?? you can lose control and roll your marriage.</p>
<p>10. Keep to your lane. Donâ??t change lanes without indicating.  Give indications if you are going to make changes in your marriages, particularly changes that also affect others. Inform your spouse, children, and others if your are planning to bring about changes so that they are cautious and alert to your moves.</p>
<p>11. Passengers must feel comfortable in your car. They need to feel free to take their naps without feeling that their lives are in danger because you are behind the wheel. Create a safe and peaceful environment for those who are in marriage with you. Use your power to support rather than to sabotage.</p>
<p>12. Carry necessary tools and supplies for the road.  It is illegal in some countries to drive a car without a spare wheel or to run out of gas. Plan ahead and anticipate challenges on the road. Every marriage should have a toolkit for repairs. There are times when a tyre suffers a puncture. Be ready to stop, turn on your warning lights, and replace the tyre.  Challenges and conflicts are normal in marriage. One needs to be armed with necessary tools to address conflicts and challenges so that we can resume our marriage journey.</p>
<p>13. Use all car mirrors in order to be alert at all times. You need to be able to see cars from all angles â?? rear and sides. Donâ??t drive with your eyes on the rear or side mirrors because you might drive into a car in front of you if it suddenly stops.  Concentrate on your car, but vigilant that other marriages do not affect or disturb yours. </p>
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		<title>Mending a Marriage: Three Powerful Steps</title>
		<link>http://www.keystohappymarriage.com/marriage-problems/mending-a-marriage-three-powerful-steps/</link>
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		<pubDate>Sun, 17 Jan 2010 16:14:35 +0000</pubDate>
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				<category><![CDATA[Marriage Problems]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[Marriages are not easy.  I don’t know why we assume that they should be.  Life has a way of throwing difficult things our way and we’re not always at our best when we face hard times.
Having been married for twelve years now, I’ve come to look at my marriage as an ongoing opportunity, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Marriages are not easy.  I don’t know why we assume that they should be.  Life has a way of throwing difficult things our way and we’re not always at our best when we face hard times.</p>
<p>Having been married for twelve years now, I’ve come to look at my marriage as an ongoing opportunity, or an ongoing demand, for personal growth.</p>
<p>Over our twelve years of being married, my husband and I have faced financial troubles, deaths in the family, having a child, and starting our own business.  Along the way, we realized that if we were to mend old hurts and forge a great partnership, we needed help.</p>
<p>We searched for masters on marriage and we found resources that were invaluable.</p>
<p>Here are three major things that we learned which aided us in mending our marriage:</p>
<p>Marriage Mending Step #1:  My Personal Happiness is My Own Responsibility, Not the Responsibility of my Spouse or Our Marriage – It is too easy to blame our dissatisfaction in life upon our spouse or our marriage.  Life can be very difficult, especially when we’re experiencing growing pains.  During those times, it is simply not fair for us to blame our marriage for our sadness, frustration, or depression.  These are all common things to feel as we grow.</p>
<p>When we learned this bit of wisdom, all arguments about how our marriage should give us this or that were stopped.  Instead, we decided that it was our personal responsibility to make the marriage happy, instead of waiting for the marriage to make us happy.  We began to put more energy into making our marriage great.  We planned simple fun things to do together and we began to take care of one another.</p>
<p>Marriage Mending Step #2:  No Niggling – Niggling is defined as arguing over petty things, or complaining.  For us, niggling also meant making little cutting remarks about one another, whether in person or to someone else.  In other words, it was no longer alright for us to say things like, “Well, you never listen anyway…” or “That was nice, much nicer that you usually are.”  </p>
<p>When we stopped making little nasty remarks to one another, our relationship was more pleasant.  We didn’t allow ourselves to be sarcastic with one another, either.  Sarcasm can become a destructive habit that turns nasty in a hurry.  Sarcasm is also passive-aggressive, which is dangerous to the task of building a powerful partnership.</p>
<p>Marriage Mending Step #3:  I Know My Spouse to be a Good Person – This is not always the case.  Some people are just not good people.  I hope that you’re not married to someone like that.  For most of us, however, our spouse is generally a good person who, on occasion, whether because of stress or frustration or fatigue, can be nasty.  But if we can remember that our spouse is a good person, that goes a long way toward treating them well and helping them to deal with whatever is bothering them.</p>
<p>My husband went through a period where he was really grouchy.  It would have been very easy for me to label him as selfish and rude.  But I remembered what I had learned about creating a great marriage.  Over the period of two weeks or so, I was able to help him figure out what to do about his current problem.  That not only made him trust me more, but it helped him get back on track with his business and he gained more confidence in me. </p>
<div style="margin:5px;padding:5px;border:1px solid #c1c1c1;font-size: 10px">Dr. Isabella Santorini used to have a marriage that was fine, but it certainly wasn’t fantastic.  She learned about creating a great marriage from a master at marriage.  Since then, her relationship with her husband has flowered into a powerful partnership.  Learn from the best, visit the person Dr. Isabella learned from at: <a href="http://mbguevara.savemarria.hop.clickbank.net/" rel="nofollow">http://mbguevara.savemarria.hop.clickbank.net/</a></div>
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		<title>Tips to Save Your Marriage</title>
		<link>http://www.keystohappymarriage.com/marriage-problems/tips-to-save-your-marriage/</link>
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		<pubDate>Sat, 16 Jan 2010 12:10:43 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[Marriage is an institution in which interpersonal relationships are acknowledged by the state or by religious authority. It is often viewed as a contract. 
People marry for many reasons, but usually one or more of the following: legal, social, and economic stability; the formation of a family unit; procreation and the education and nurturing of [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Marriage is an institution in which interpersonal relationships are acknowledged by the state or by religious authority. It is often viewed as a contract. </p>
<p>People marry for many reasons, but usually one or more of the following: legal, social, and economic stability; the formation of a family unit; procreation and the education and nurturing of children; legitimizing sexual relations; public declaration of love; or to obtain citizenship </p>
<p>  </p>
<p>It&#8217;s truly sad to hear of marriages in trouble. No body want trouble, but trouble does happen. You may ask your self “Can I save my marriage?” My answer is yes, why? Because when you ask yourself “Can I save my marriage?” means you do want to save your marriage. Because if don&#8217;t or never think of that question, there is no way you can save your marriage, but how? So I will give you tips on how to save your marriage.  These tips you and your spouse can apply today to start the healing process for your relationship and marriage. </p>
<p>1. More communication  </p>
<p>Communication is important in our live, so it same to marriage. If you fail to communicate with your partner, it&#8217;s about time your marriage will over.  The most common cause to marriage breakdown is fail to communicate or miscommunication between spouses. When problems arise, people stop talking to each other. Simply put, a marriage cannot be saved if the couple can&#8217;t figure things out together. When a new problem appears, a married couple needs to talk more, not less. </p>
<p>2. Compromise </p>
<p>Compromise means you allow your love and respect for one another to have a higher priority than the matter at hand. Be the first to compromise and before you know it, you are half-way to save your marriage. </p>
<p>3. Make effort to show more love and affection </p>
<p>Many marriages break down simply because the individuals involved feel that they are not being loved or cared for. Regardless of the issue, couples must remember that feeling loved is important. This is almost a deliberate separation of the issue or problem from the love they have for one another. </p>
<p>4.      Forgiveness </p>
<p>Forgiveness is important in relationship including marriage. Try to forgive and forget. Everybody make mistake. Give changes to your partner. Forgiveness is power full but difficult, that why it&#8217;s powerful. With love, compromise and communication, it is easier to forgive and forget.   </p>
<p>If ever, you are asking the question &#8220;Can I save my marriage&#8221;, try to apply these 4 tips into your situation. You will be pleasantly surprised at the healing and rebuilding that can be achieved in your marriage if you only give these a try. </p>
<p>If you need help, you can always get help from marriage counseling like online counseling help at www.onlinemarriagecounseling.info/ </p>
<div style="margin:5px;padding:5px;border:1px solid #c1c1c1;font-size: 10px">Get marriage counseling from the expert at <a href="http://onlinemarriagecounseling.info/" rel="nofollow">Save Your Marriage</a></div>
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		<title>Can Love Marriage Score Over Arranged Marriage?</title>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 15 Jan 2010 11:34:45 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[This argument has been raised nth number of times and no one has ever been able to win this debate.  
In India, arranged marriages have always enjoyed an upper hand. Parents think that it is there utmost duty to find the most suitable match for their sons or daughters by looking through matrimonial or [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This argument has been raised nth number of times and no one has ever been able to win this debate.  </p>
<p>In India, arranged marriages have always enjoyed an upper hand. Parents think that it is there utmost duty to find the most suitable match for their sons or daughters by looking through matrimonial or other sources. Though perception is changing slowly and lots of youngsters are opting for love marriages, it is still opposed in small towns and cities. The outgoing youth of India today feels that they are mature enough to take such decisions all by themselves. Moreover, they feel that the person, whom they are planning to spend their rest of life with, should be of their own choice. But looking at the number of divorces and separations in urban India, the question of whether love marriages can score over arranged marriages remains unanswered. </p>
<p>Education and media have played an important role in popularizing the concept of love marriages in India.  </p>
<p>Amid popular love stories like Soni Mahiwal, India always had a long tradition of arranged marriages. With the coming of the British and the subsequent introduction of British education system, more Indians got educated. Movies have influenced the masses as well as the classes to great extent. The approach to love and marriage as depicted in the movies has inspired Indian audiences to the extent that now love marriages are not considered as a taboo. Also, education and exposure to the media, have to some extent changed the mindset of the people and now they have realized that they need not be bound by tradition and they can choose their own marital partners. And for this, they don’t have to depend on parents, matchmakers, relatives, astrologers or any other form of matrimony. This change in mindset and opinions gave rise to number of love marriages. Presently, in our country we have arranged as well as love marriages taking place. </p>
<p>Talking about love marriages, they provide time for mutual understanding between the couples which is obviously needed for any successful relation. This way they are better adjusted in the marriage when they finally take their wedding vows. </p>
<p>In arrange marriages, there is a pressure to conform to parental expectations like producing a male heir, taking part in family rituals and traditions, putting up with sisters-in-laws, contributing to family expenses etc. Lovers have to try hard if their parents don’t agree with the relation. That is why it is said that Love is not an easy way out! </p>
<p>Not all love marriages have happy endings. There are times when discord arises even in love marriages. In lot of love marriage cases, after spending a happy time of marriage, the many couples are seen regretting on their decisions. They find it hard to save the marriage and at last try to break. If they them self chosen their partner and had a perfect tuning then why this unhappy end of the relation after marriage? </p>
<p>But there are other repercussions as well especially for girls. At times, to adjust mould themselves in a new environment, girls have to take extra efforts and initiatives in order to woo their in-laws. Parents also at times don’t support their children and consider them responsible for their marriage.  </p>
<p>Perhaps to avoid such a situation, now-a-days many youngsters prefer arranged marriages. People had this notion that arranged marriages used to happen only in the east but this was not always so, arranged marriages were happening even in Victorian Europe. The best and the safest part about the arranged marriage is that parents and the family is happy and they them self arrange the marriage. There are no tears and sacrifices for their permission. Arranged marriage is a safe bet for women as it offers more protection and security to the women.  </p>
<p>It is difficult to decide which one can score over the other and which one is ideal is a never-ending debate. Be it a love or arranged marriage, marriage is based on empathy, responsibility, commitment, love and concern. It needs a lot of dedication and effort to sustain the relation. To support and live with each other for life-long, it requires patience, perseverance, dedication and obviously love and care. If one is able to sustain this forever, it is definitely and ideal marriage.  </p>
<p>Love is an important aspect, whether it happens before or after marriage is not important. It should happen and then happiness will follow and that’s the secret behind a successful marriage.   </p>
<div style="margin:5px;padding:5px;border:1px solid #c1c1c1;font-size: 10px">Sukhpreet Kaur Sawhney writes on behalf of <a href="http://www.jeevansathi.com" rel="nofollow">Jeevansathi.com</a>, which is India’s fastest growing matrimonial website, provides online matrimonial classified services. <a href="http://www.jeevansathi.com" rel="nofollow">Jeevansathi.com</a> enables users to create a <a href="http://www.jeevansathi.com" rel="nofollow">matrimony profile</a> on the website and allow prospective grooms and brides to contact each other. Users can search for profiles through advanced search options on the website. Users can avail free registration and make initial contact with each other through services available on <a href="http://www.jeevansathi.com" rel="nofollow">Jeevansathi.com</a> via Chat, SMS, and e-mail.</div>
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		<title>An Deep Look Into a Religious Marriage</title>
		<link>http://www.keystohappymarriage.com/marriage-problems/an-deep-look-into-a-religious-marriage/</link>
		<comments>http://www.keystohappymarriage.com/marriage-problems/an-deep-look-into-a-religious-marriage/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 14 Jan 2010 14:27:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Marriage Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religious Marriage]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[A religious marriage pays a lot of attention to religious rites and practices. There are many kinds of religious marriages and, they include the Christian marriages and Islamic marriages. Over the years, more and more people have sought to divorce marriage and religion. In many circles, marriage is a private affair where religion has no [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>A religious marriage pays a lot of attention to religious rites and practices. There are many kinds of religious marriages and, they include the Christian marriages and Islamic marriages. Over the years, more and more people have sought to divorce marriage and religion. In many circles, marriage is a private affair where religion has no right to interfere. A marriage which is not religious is known as a civil marriage. It involves signing of the marriage contract as life with your partner begins. In a religious union, a lot of spiritual factors are at play. The definition of marriage in religious terms is much broader than just signing of contracts. Many Christians believe that when you find someone to marry, they become a part of you. They put a lot of seriousness on marital issues and a marriage is for life and should never be broken. All kinds of marriages are inspired by this. Marriage is meant to last a lifetime. This is very contrary to what we are seeing today. Marriage has evolved and, is no longer equitable to a lifetime of commitment. Divorce has taken center stage and, marriage statistics are alarming. Today, half of all marriages in the United States will end in divorce. The parties who will go ahead to marry again have a 70% chance to break up. For this reason, people have devised ways to go around marriage. And more so, religious marriage because it involves spiritual vows that are often hard to keep. Many singles both in the developed and developing world have opted to live which each other without religious or civil implications. This way, when they break up, legal tussles will be easily avoided. A religious marriage is recognized by the state. Those ministers, pastors, rabbis who oversee marriages, have been given authority by the state. The signing of a marriage license is enough to grant a couple the rights to be called man and wife. A religious marriage will involve a lot of fun fare and, it is more communal compared to its civil counterpart. Many cultures will perform such marriages in accordance to their religion. When it comes to an Islamic marriage, the couples will follow the religious laws &#8216;Sharia&#8217; to see they adhere to every requirement. In Islam, the marriage is characterized by aspects of the Islamic culture. The bride is adorned in traditional brides&#8217; wear and all rites are performed in accordance to the Islamic marriage law. However, with the onset of modernity, many religious groups have become more open to contemporary ways of doing things. Today, it really depends on what you want for your big day. Religiously, same sex couples are mainly not recognized. This is because most religions are not open to the idea and, their teachings do not recognize gays. However, more and more religious people have been seen to embrace the ideology of the gay community. The Anglican Church has especially been in the lime light for ordaining the first gay Bishop. Gay people are focusing on fighting for their civil right to marriage. Countries like Canada have heeded to the call and made marriage for gays legal. </p>
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